Buzzards R Us

I was driving to work this morning and composed a beautiful, eloquent post about life in the south after Katrina. All about the life-altering that's been happening and shit. Peaches and rainbows.

Then I got to work and my boss pulled in the parking lot at the same time and I've been jumping through hoops preparing documents for this big multi-million dollar thing we're doing next week. The puffy clouds are a little frayed at the moment, but I'll try and get a grasp on what I was gonna post and put it down for you when I get through this junk on my desk.

I'm not a happy camper, let me tell you. We have two attys from our office, plus one from a big firm yonder in big city. Brokers and bankers and all that good stuff. And they're all breathing down my neck right now making it hard to be meticulous.

I haven't had time to take a lunch, or to pee or smoke...
gotta run!

P.S. ...if you want cheap entertainment... go and check out THIS LINK All you have to do is type in your zip code and it will give you a list of gas prices for your area.
Hell. If I wasn't already in a bad mood. Remind me not to check the email until after next week (sigh)...

Scorecard Update & Stuff...

Still haven't had five minutes to do the tag...sorry. Will try and get to it asap.

Nothing at all has been said to the sec. It made for good drama the end of last week though. A girl can dream, can't she?

AND, because nothing was said to her, I've been on the warpath. My boss asked me a short time ago where a file was. He was rummaging through my desk. I told him I did not have that file, he does, and asked him would he like myhelp to find it. He stomped off to some other office muttering some shit this and some f*%k that. I whirled around on my heel and followed him and when he stopped I said in my loudest inside voice "Are you cussing at me or just cussing in general? " Whereupon he started shaking his head frantically with the deer caught in the headlights look. I didn't think to check if there was someone in the office before I exploded. There was, a friend of one of the attys was in the breakroom.

I walked past the sec's desk and into another office and hid my giggles. A short time later, the boss came back to my desk and had the file in his hand. He had it, all along. He punched me in the arm and said he wasn't cussing at me.

LOL. Another day, another drama.
Gotta run. I miss you guys! Will try and be by your blogs by the end of the week!

Tagged Again!

Mo tagged me yesterday. MO. YOU AREN'T GONNA BELIVE THIS. The sec just came in and told me that after the show the other night, JCorbett came down and sat at the table with them for an hour. I want to throw up. literally. Some days life is just not fair.

I'll get to that in just a minute. My heart is breaking all over again. Ms.Blue is two days drive away from me and trying to settle in. I caught my self looking around the living room last night for her... then it hit me, she's gone again. Sometimes being a mom really sucks.

Ok. On to the TAG

The Rules:1. Go write 6 weird facts/things/etc. about yourself on your blog, then tag six more people!2. Then leave a comment that says 'You are tagged' in their comments telling them to read your blog.Here we go:


Ok. I'm working on it. Will be done shortly

Scorecard Update & HSD

HSD. Happy Secretaries Day. I will enjoy it immensely as our sec won't be in LOL

(If you haven't been by in a couple of days you might want to scroll down and get caught up on the sec's latest antics. I know some of you have been following her stories with me for over a year and a half now. Things are progressing, I think!) When I got to work this morning, her boss asked me if I'd mind if he talked to her about the time stuff he had me print out yesterday. He said he has had it and she's nothing but a problem to him. Hmmm... I wonder if that will be enough of a little push to get her on her way out the door? After 3 1/2 years (for me--she's been here 5) it's nice to see things FINALLY moving a tiny itty bit in the right direction.

That's it for now. Have a great weekend. Oh yeah, almost forgot.
Monday. Happy Confederate Memorial Day too. ;)
See you Tuesday!

Ummm..... I'm Telling! (Scorecard Update 2)

Neener Neener.
This is an update to my Scorecard update this morning.

The dude that hired her (the sec) came in from lunch an hour ago.
Once he discovered she was still gone to lunch (which we all know extremely long lunches are the norm around here rather than the exception), he finally caught on to the fact that she had taken off and wasn't coming back. He asked ME why SHE didn't tell HIM (her boss) she was going to be out. (Insert famous west coat shrug here with southern sugar coated shaking of head shamefully). I dunno, I told him.
THEN it happened.

He asked me if I was still keeping up with her time!

Ummm... you bet.

He asked can if I could print it out.
(print it out? Hell, on slow days like this I could probably recite it from memory...)
Of course I can print it out.

He wanted Jan 1 till tomorrow with the additional time off today and tomorrow.

I printed that.

He threw it on my desk and told me to go back to November 1 (6 months!) AND he asked me if I'm keeping a timesheet on myself. Of course I am, I told him. But mine is a whole lot shorter than that. Knowing her she's going to throw it back in my face. He just laughed ...(he always just laughs...)

Hmmm... a client came in and tied him up while I was on my way to the printer to get the revised printout. Clear back to November 1. Yeah baby. 17 days off in the past 6 months. 14 days worked half a day or less than half a day. 33 days in 30 minutes late or more...

OMG I so badly want to put a carbon copy in my boss' slot too. Just for his FYI kind of thing. But I won't. It made my whole day just having her guy looking at it. Shaking his head.

I wonder if he's gonna laugh about that?

Scorecard Update!

Hmmm... the sec. Is. A. Witch.

Have I said that enough?

Today and tomorrow are the last two days I have to spend w/ Ms.Blue until Lord knows when. Boss left at 11 today and will be out until Tuesday. I was going to run home and spend a couple of stolen hours w/ my baby girl. Then the sec pulled her usual... "I'm taking the rest of today and won't be back in until Tuesday..." HUH? Guess I didn't see it coming.

SO... Since I'm going to be the only one in the office tomorrow (aren't you proud of how often they leave me here all alone to run their law firm all by my lonesome??) Ms.Blue is going to come to work with me and we'll spend the day together here. If all else fails, make lemonade and all that stuff...

If I were a hating kind of person, I think I would really hate that woman.
But hey! Monday is a court holiday so I get Monday off. The kids have school and DH has to work... This is the one holiday a year I get all to myself to stay home and nap, meet DH for lunch and ummm... run back home and nap until the kids come home!

For you yankees and others outside the south, Monday is Confederate Memorial Day.
And here in the verymost south of the south and other places over yonder, Confederate Memorial Day is a very, very big deal.

Heavy Duty...

Have y'all ever seen a 97 page cell phone bill? The poor mail lady had to use a fork lift to get it up the driveway... (sigh) Oh the joys of having a child in the military.

This & That...

Back at work today after a deliciously long weekend... still enjoying Ms.Blue very much!

I haven't really felt bad at all about not getting that other job, maybe I'm supposed to be right here a little while longer. ...the sec put her house on the market today. IF she goes through with this she's moving away which might mean peace on earth at the office AND maybe a raise in the picture for me. This might be the answer to end all answers.

Gotta run ...trying to play catch up!

Rock & Roll! - updated 10:38

A bit sticky in the office this morning... By 8:15 boss was yelling at partner because of the...um... thing the sec has let almost expire. He said she "(and I'm gonna try and quote this as close as possible...doesn't do a damn thing around here..." and continued to say "We need to do something about getting her the hell out of here TODAY because as far as I'm concerned she can carry her ass..." She came in and got in my face and threw the file at me. Dunno ...betcha nothing happens...

UPDATED: NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL... they are such pansys...

Scorecard Update!!

The sec only has one semi-important task to do each year. Make sure the firm's liability insurance is paid and get a copy of the declarations page to me so I can fax it to all the different institutions we deal with who need it for their files.

Six weeks ago, I started getting numerous faxes from people needing a copy of that dec page. The policy expires in two days. For six weeks, I've piled up the faxes on the corner of my desk, and asked the sec day after day after day if we've received the new dec page.

The insurance people called earlier and asked for me. They said not only has she not paid the premium, she has not filled out and sent in the paperwork needed so they can do a quote on the premium. SO... they re-faxed it and I handed it to her. She said "I'm not going to do it, I do every other damn thing around here..." (ROFLMAO) I took it to the one attorney who's in the office today. He's 66 and just can't get the grasp on filling in the blanks with the needed information. The sec threw a fit and has come to my desk three times now asking where that paperwork is. She doesn't want my boss to know that she didn't take care of it... (I told him yesterday it wasn't done, so he knew this was coming...) I told her nevermind. I'll get my boss to do it when he comes in in the morning. He'll blow another gasket, but I don't have access to the information or her freeking file so I can do it. I'm not. Let them cancel the policy. Or let them get off their rears and take care of it.

So now it will be a flurry of faxes and overnighting of funds to make sure we don't get on the bad boys list... Boss is gonna grumble. Mmm...hmmmm...

Edited 3:05. She finally came in and rummaged through the stuff on my desk until she found the paperwork. She faxed it back to them without writing one thing on it, then threw the papers away so my boss won't see it! HAH

Office hours are 8-5. 2 weeks vacation (well...even I stretch the vacation by a couple days now and then... so here's her official tally for the first quarter of 2006:

5-Jan Out 12:00
6-Jan OFF
10-Jan OFF
12-Jan Out 4:15
13-Jan Out 2:00
17-Jan Lunch 12-2, Out 4:30
18-Jan In 9:00 Lunch 1hr 25 min Out 3:00 - 4:00
19-Jan In 8:30 1.5 hour lunch
20-Jan in 8:20
23-Jan In 8:20 1.5 hour lunch
25-Jan In 8:30 Out 9:00-9:30
26-Jan In 8:30
27-Jan In 8:45 Out 3:00
30-Jan OFF
1-Feb In 8:35 Out 4:30
3-Feb In 8:45 out 10:45 worked 2 hours
7-Feb In 9:00
8-Feb Out 3:50
15-Feb In 8:50
20-Feb OFF
21-Feb in 8:45
22-Feb in 8:30
23-Feb OFF
24-Feb OFF
1-Mar In 8:30
2-Mar In 9:00 2 hr lunch
3-Mar In 8:30
6-Mar in 8:30
7-Mar OFF
8-Mar In 8:45 out 4:15
10-Mar out 3:15 worked 6 hours
13-Mar OFF
14-Mar OFF
15-Mar In 8:45 1 hr lunch then out 1 hour again
16-Mar in 8:30 1.5 hr lunch
20-Mar in 8:30 1.5 hr lunch
21-Mar In 8:25 2 hr lunch
23-Mar In 8:30 out 2:30 worked 6 hours
3-Apr Off 4:00
4-Apr 2 hour lunch
10-Apr in 9:00
11-Apr in 9:30 Out 3:30 worked 6 hours
12-Apr in 8:30

Can you believe this old broad even has a job????

Scorecard Update!

The queen of the office is still up to her usual shenanigans...

Came in at 9:30 this morning, didn't bother to call to say she'd be late. One of the attys asked me to call her and find out where she was at... I wrote down her phone number and handed it to him and just shook my head... she spent the entire day alternating between the front and back porch here at the office (entire day? hmmmm) sunning and smoking and talking on her cell phone. She left at 3:30. Her games and tricks are still being kept track of in Excel, too. It won't be but a few more months and she'll be fussing about how she never gets any time off (yearly thing, y'all remember the last few times she did it...). And then she'll scream and threaten to quit because she never gets any time off...

AND... she changed her myspace profile to show that's she's a legal assistant! OMG that is so funny... she's not even a real secretary...

ho hum. Life is sunny in the lil'city today.
Boss should be back from court any minute and discover that she's MIA again...
then the fun will REALLY start!

Lobsterized...

Nicely fried and red as a lobster, all of us :)

Let's see... Friday was wonderful. "Don't cry Mama..." I think she said it most of the day. Ended up only having to work for about an hour and a half, so that was nice. We went bathing suit shopping all afternoon... Saturday, hunka hunka burning love had to do a show at a benefit so that tied us up most of the day. By 3:00 we decided we were heading out to the lake w/ some friends of ours... spent that night and all of yesterday out on the lake playing on their new boat and our new jet skis... it was only 70 degrees but we all came home nicely toasted... ouch. I'm fine as long as I don't move... and poor lil'DD --she's a little crispy. I was going to keep her home but she has a test today. Ms.Blue has settled in nicely. She has to work a little bit every day she's here during the week, so it doesn't count against her accumulated leave... so she's here at work w/ me until 11, then she goes to be all official and stuff.

Out there, at the lake, this one redneck drunk kept laughing like a cow/goat. It was so funny. No matter where you were, the sound carried and we laughed about him the whole time...

Sorry, nothing really exciting to report. It's a short week for me, I'm taking vacation Friday and Monday because we're heading back out to the lake! Have a super day...

Ms.Blue...

She's Home!!!!
Have a good weekend... see you Monday :)

I'm So Excited...

Hmmm... somebody from another department there got my job. But that's ok. If I started a new job now I'd have trouble taking off for the next big trip... (always another trip!)... I really want to go to DC in August and spend a week with MS.Blue...

Who is bumming around today between briefings and then will be heading to the airport. This mommy cannot wait to touch her hair. To kiss her forhead. To smother her with hugs. There was a flurry of phone calls last night wherein she asked how to pack this or the best way to carry that... see? she still needs me, even if she is all grown up!

Planning on working half a day tomorrow while she sleeps, boss will be out and I have to be here to meet w/ clients for a couple hours... will try and post something, ANYTHING would be nice at this point I guess ...

Pomp & Circumstance...

Ms.Blue just called me. She made it. Graduated. Tech school is finished.
Phew. Now if she could just learn to balance her checkbook...

Congratulations Sweetie, I'm so damn proud of you!

Howdy...

Did ya miss me?
...No word yet on the job. Lead council still hasn't received the list of applicants, so no one knows if someone w/ veterans preference will get the job or if they will interview... still waiting. Ms.Blue has about 55 minutes of classes left. Then one test tomorrow, one briefing the next day, and she'll be on her way home. I cannot wait. ICannotWait! Went way up yonder to bigcityofmemphis on Sunday. ick. That place is truly ghetto. I say that every time we have to go there. Bad weather too. Blech. Still swamped at work, but at least the days are flying by.
Later.

Tick...Tock... Tick...Tock...

3 days 17 hours 45 minutes...