Shhhh! It's Almost Time!

Don't forget tomorrow is the 1st of the month and if "Rabbits Rabbits!" are the first words you say you will have good luck...

I'm trying to get DH to extend our trip by a couple more days. I am ready for a vacation. Away from this place. It's been 7 weeks today since I asked my boss about a raise and obviously it's not important to him. The new idiot isn't getting any better and I'm disheartened and discouraged. I want to go away. To the land of bigger and beef. Everything is bigger in ___ don't you know? And something happens to me every time I cross the state line ...I crave steak! Gotta have one.

Ok. Dunno for sure when we're leaving yet but I'll turn on the blogmail when we do.

Have a happy monday.

Mall Thoughts...

School starts the day we get back from our trip so the everdreaded shopping needed to be done. I had put a few hundred aside out of my last poker winnings so last night I loaded up Mr.SoonToBeBlue and thePrincess and headed for the mall. They'd been watching the sale ads for me, so I gave them a great pep talk on "Less is More" and how they'd end up with more stuff if we sale shopped. Usually, when I take the kids shopping, I come home with a headache and a stomacheache, it just irks me to throw money away on stuff they're going to outgrow in a matter of weeks. This year, they're both almost full grown and it was not so bad, really. We walked into the store and Mr.SoonToBeBlue (who, by the way was on his last shopping trip with mom, he was excited because the next big batch of stuff to be bought will be coming out of his very own SoonToBeEarnedInTheAirForce paycheck) headed for the sale rack and came back with a dozen preppy shirts and some jeans in one minute forty-five seconds. Yeah. That's my kind of shopper. ThePrincess is another story. At almost 16 she gets pickier by the day. Not fussygirl picky. But aLittleRedneckSpentTooMuchOfHerLifeInTheSouth picky. Jeans and rebel shirts. That's all she wants to wear. Forget a blouse or a sweater or pair of nice pants. It isn't going to happen. So an hour later we were still walking around the same tiny little store trying to get her to make up her mind while I'm chanting softly behind her..."Colors are our friend... colors are our friend!" When she was finally loaded down with some faded, ripped t-shirts and patched jeans (Lord knows why we even went to buy clothes this year because everything they already have is quite in style by the looks of what was in the store...), it took me another 30 seconds to grab two skirts and four blouses so I'll have something new for the trip.

I hate going to the mall. It's not like it used to be when I was a kid.

When I go to the mall now, the biggest thing I see is cell phones. People talking on cell phones and the stands everywhere selling cell phone accessories. That's not what I remember the mall being all about. I remember when I was seven going with my mom and dad to get my first pair of BOOTS (Brown ones that zipped up to my knee and I got in trouble for sleeping with them under my pillow that night!). Going to the mall always involved seeing all the men my grandfather's age who were amputees and veterans of WorldWar II and Korea. They were always there. Then it was seeing all the men my uncle's age, who were amputees and veterans of Vietnam. My grandfather passed away several months ago (GrandpaBlue, the rotten old colonel himself!)and it's been forever since I've seen those men at the mall. They've all gone away to that big base in the sky, I guess. Now, with Ms.Blue serving and MrSoonToBeBlue headed that way shortly, I worry about stupid things like that. Like those old men who used to always be at the mall.

Short Skirts, Part II

I walked around a corner in the office this morning and didn't expect to see anyone standing outside the window. I jumped and spilled a little of my coffee on the floor. I set my coffee down and went to grab some paper towells to wipe up the spill. Now, no matter how graceful you are, when you are squatting down in a thigh-length skirt you have to be careful. I was being careful. But I'll be darned if she didn't walk over to the stairs hiking her skirt up in the process and sat down on the bottom step at eye level with me. I'm not liking this at all and did not look up from my spill wiping until after I was standing up and heading out of the room. She's a strange one, this girl.

Her update for last week was pretty painless. She at least waited two full weeks of work before borrowing $1,300.00 from the firm. (sigh) Can't wait to see what her next escapade is going to be.

We were gone again all weekend. Out on the water free as a bird. I'm starting to fret from the stress though. Just a few more days and we'll be going to visit MIL in Mel and Mo's great state. I hate the trip and I hate having to go. But it will make for great stories. Last time we went we got to visit with the cow and then eat her for dinner. What fun. The cousins drunk friend hit on me and DH was going to bust his head. Yes, what fun it will be.

Gotta run. The sec is out running errands (same ole shit!)... and the phone is ringing off the hook!

Hit the nail on the head with this one, thanks Mo!

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty. At work and school, you do best when you're researching. When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often. In friendship, you are considerate and compromising. Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking. You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

The Birth Order Predictor

And You Said...

JUST A MOM said...
HAHAHAHAHAH OO KIMMM I AM SORRY BUT I JUST MIGHT PEE IN MY CHAIR LAUGHING!!!!!!!
3:07 PM

Kim Said...
Jaye - Wait. Let me get the one out of the store room that the sec used and you can pee in it. It's already been there done that!

Greek Shadow said...
You should tell her plainly that you're not that type of girl and maybe she'll back off.
4:40 PM

Kim Said...
Tig - Oh No. I'm not telling this one ANYTHING. She doesn't shut up long enough!

Ubiquitos said...
Post a picture wearing that outfit and I'll tell you what she was staring at, why she was staring, and what she was probably thinking about ;-D

Actually, don't make a federal case out of it (legal levity), just treat her like a guy ....ignore her, she'll stop.
7:51 AM

Kim Said...
Ubiq - Pictures here are few and far between and if I do post one you have to be quick about looking because it's going to be deleted shortly. I belong to the blogger's witness protection program LOL

1 plus twins said...
omg!!! i haven't been by here for weeks and this is what i read!! omg - that is just too much!! just make sure you don't ever wear a short skirt or she will be dropping her pens all day long! lol 9:04 AM

Kim Said...
Val - I wear short skirts almost every day. She can't see under my desk not matter where her pen drops though. I think we're safe. ;)

Ubiquitos said...
It just hit me: She's thinking outside the box! ;-)
so, if she want's to start sharing soft-shell tacos, then you got a problem LOL
9:11 AM

Kim Said...
Ubiq - ROFLMAO!

Molicious said...
LOL...I'm so sorry you're dealing with this!

If she asks you to have drinks with her after work just say no! LOL

Kim Said...
Mol - Uhhhhh... she already did!

More On (Moron?) Eyes!

Ok. The cozy, sweet, snuggly "sista" has got to go.
She was leaning on the fax machine staring at my crotch.
Not like girls checking out your outfit or if you're thinner than them kind of stare. More like, umm... thinking about it kind of stare.

And she makes us popcorn every afternoon to share.

There is something very wrong with this picture.
I'm afraid. Very, very afraid.

Don't Look Her In The Eye!

All right. I'm learning.

If I don't look up at her or look her in the eye when she wanders in rambling about one thing or another, she won't park herself on the corner of my desk and spend the next 15 minutes or so telling me about stuff I care absolutely nothing about. That's not so hard, even if it is a bit rude. Gosh. She's such a chatterbox! And has no clue that she's not my best friend and I don't give a hoot about her jewlrey or her makeup or anything else going on in her life. You don't just walk in here and be my best buddy. Sorry. It doesn't happen like that.

Heck. It took me a long time to warm up to all of you. This new employee bonding thing isn't gonna happen overnight. But hey, at least she's been at work every day for a week now! We're making progress, I think.

Dratted Pocket Twos!

22 just kills me. Whether I play or fold, I hate them. Give me a 27offsuit (worst hold em hand there is) and I'll play it. But with 22 I never know what to do. I held them once. Made a boat (full house) and lost to 4OAK (4ofakind) Sevens. I caught them a second time and folded them. Would have had the best hand with a set of 2s (222) beating AA. Played for hours and won a couple thousand. Definitely tons of fun. I was the only woman on my table all night. That's always good to put you in a better position than if there's more than one. Always works that way.

Too tired right now to remember more. I played better than I have in a few months though. Didn't get caught bluffing once either. Hooray.

Almost Friday!

Sorry for not being around and commenting. Been busy. I don't feel right complaining about the sec if I'm not pulling my own weight.

So. Anyway.
Ms.Blue had her wisdom teeth taken out this week. It seems the airforce has a chop shop where they line the kids up and yank, snip, sew and send them home with a bottle of drugs and a few days off from work. Pretty nice setup. The sgt. called to let me know he'd driven her home and picked up her rx. and she was fine and dandy. It broke my heart not to be there for her. Really it did. Right up until the day before when she told me, "Mom, I'll be fine. I have people from work who are going to call and check up on me." Ok fine. You don't need me anymore you big tough-assed grown-up lady of blue.

HAH. Mom always wins. The night before she got them taken out we got two, yes TWO frantic phone calls. We'll see who doesn't need their mommy any more the next time she takes that snotty, know it all voice with me, now won't we. So the first call was something like... "Mom! The screw fell out of my glasses and they don't have the screw kits at the BX and the eye doctor here on base is closed!!. Where on earth can I get an eyeglass repair kit in wal-mart so I can fix it. I'm going to be stuck in quarters for four days with nothing to do but watch movies and I've got to fix them!" ...well duh. Val-mart. Vision Center. Where you got your glasses? Walk in there and ask them to put a screw in for you, and then ask them to direct you to the part of the store the buy the one to take home, silly. She called back, problem solved. THEN. An hour later. Frantic call. I GOT STUNG BY A BEE OR A WASP OR SOMETHING! WHAT DO I DO. WHAT DO I DO? (Yes, this child is trained and defending our country. Do you yet understand why oh why I worry about her like I do? (sigh)). So DH told her to find someone who smokes and ask them for a cigarette. She knew what to do with the tobacco once she had it, she remembered as soon as he told her that. She called back again, after she had run over to the smoke pit and had to explain to the city kids that wet tobacco draws out the fire from the sting then they let her have one and she made it feel better. She couldn't take a benedryl because she had to fast for her teeth surgery. Oh goodness. Will I ever be glad when she is allowed to take her first leave! (I know when she's put in for but not posting it yet because there's still a chance it won't happen because of things in the sandbox... but I'm counting down, fur sure.)

That's it for now.
Off to play in a hold-em tourney this weekend. Wish me luck! :)

Blah Blah Bla SCORECARD UPDATE.

This morning I carried our paychecks to one of the attys for a REAL signature rather than just scribbling his name accross it myself. I really could of cared less if he signed it or not, I've been pretty down on this place lately. He asked me if I'd talked to the boss about a raise like I'd said I was going to. Yes, I told him. I asked him over a month ago but obviously it isn't that important to HIM. So I'm sending out resumes to other firms. "YOU'RE NOT" He siged. "You don't want to do that, we need you here"... well No Shit Shirlock. You're just now coming to that realization? ...I don't know if he'll say anything or not. This is just a weird freeking place to work. And then some.

Todays sec report. She's taking a 2 hour lunch. And I don't get one because of the time she's taking it. HAH. I'm at least going to lock the door and run down and grab a salad or something. I've lost 11 pounds since the sec signed the contract on her house... been working my butt off and stressing a little too.

Here's the new sec's scorecard/timecard for the first 7 days of work. Lovely, isn't it? (sigh)
3-Jul Worked 3.5 hours
4-Jul HOLIDAY - OFF
5-Jul 8 hours
6-Jul 8 hours
7-Jul OFF
10-Jul 45 Min late
11-Jul Off
12-Jul 2 Hr Lunch

Faxing Resumes.

I've been fretting and stewing all weekend over having to work with this new broad combines with the fact that it's been a whole month today since I asked my boss to consider giving me a raise and I've heard nothing.

The new girl was 45 minutes late this morning.
She's taking tomorrow off (and has yet to work a full freeking week)
I'm in a nasty horrid mood this morning.

Not sure if it's PMS or not but I'm faxing resumes.
I did tell the boss what happened last week.

But Wait! It Gets Better!

If you haven't stopped by in a while, you're gonna want to start reading back a few posts. ;)

The new girl came in to pick up her check and said...
(oh wait! The check for 40 hours when she only worked 20!)
...and said... "I'm just going to have to take a day off next week, I'm so tired..."

Blink
Blink
Bite tounge.
Blink
Blink
Breathe
Blink
Blink
Do not say a word.

They're gonna love her.
Now let's see... where did I put that excel file?
Time to start a new scorecard!

You Gotta Be Kidding Me!?

Guess who worked 20 hours this week and is already taking a day off today??
Guess who asked for a full 40 hour paycheck when I told her since she was taking off, I was paying her hourly this week?

I'm starting to think this is a rerun!

Crud.

OH
My
GOSH.

Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it! :(

Let's just say we're not off to a real spiffy start.
There's going to be stories. FOR SURE.
Like - she's already called me 'Sista' seven times today so far (Blech!)
Like - she's already made three trips to the office supply store to buy things she just HAS to have. (One of which was the chair to replace the one the sec pee'd in!)
Like - she's as headstrong as I am and already stepping on my toes.
Like - I told her today that no, she can't get a debit card for the firm's account because she has not been put on the account and I'M not calling to get her one until one of the bosses is here and I can run it by them for approval.
Like - We're having some problem with her understanding what is my job and what is HER job. She's not taking my freeking work away from me and I've made that very clear. I'm happy as peach pie that she wants to go to big girl paralegal school and learn the ropes but keep her happy little bubbly hands off of my files and stop color coding my shit. I already have my own colors thank you and don't need hers!
Like - she's working 20 hours this week, training, and told me this morning she'd like me to write her check for the full 40 hours week!

I'm sure you can see that we have lots of possibilities for new sec stories here. I'm trying to be patient and nice but very firm when she crosses the line with me.

GOODNESS!!

ODE TO A TURNIP

The sec is GONE GONE GONE GONE!
Hip Hip HOORAY!

The Sec's Last Stand...

The new girl showed up for work this morning with a box of family pictures and put the finishing touches on tidying up the sec's area and making it home. She was off purchasing a new desk chair and some office supplies this morning when the sec wandered in. The sec got pissed off that the new girl had made her space her own and tossed her key on my desk and went home. It's finally over. HOORAY! :)

...the new sec is a chatterbox though so I am not sure how that is going to work out.

Ok. Here we go with today's lessons.
Camping With Fat People 101
and Camping With Old People 205
Camping with fat people takes a special sort of individual.
They will flatter you and be so terribly nice... "Your hair is beautiful." "You look so good in your tan." "I just LOVE that outfit on you..." the whole time they are plotting and scheming up the most wonderfully tasting, fattening dishes they can whip up in time to put on the table for the next meal. You really have to be careful or you will no longer be the skinniest butt in the boat! The same goes for older people. I've learned not to even try to attempt to keep up with them. They will outdrink, out dance, out swim, out party and stay up later than you just to prove that they aren't getting old (40s,50s,60s--whatever!) and they will hurt you just to prove they've still got it... (sigh).

Let's just say it was one heck of a holiday and leave it at that? ;)

First Monday!

The new sec called me at 7:30 to see if I was working today, she was going to come in to train. The sec was TOLD in no uncertain terms to be here this week to train the new sec. Of couse she's not here and won't be in today. I'm doing the best I can but still need to get my own work done and frankly, things are piled up so bad that the sec hasn't done that I'm afraid she's a little overwhelmed. But hey. I give her points for being here at all! :)

Happy 4th. See y'all Wednesday...