Blogmail (Better Than Voicemail... Really!!)

You have reached the desk of Kimdergarten.
I will be out of the office for about 6 weeks. Maybe more. Maybe Less. Probably less but more would definitely be better for me. Take care of yourself and be good ... I'll see you in early May if not sooner!

For your enjoyment while I'm away:
I did not make these up, these were actual searches logged onto the stats tracker that brought one idiot or another into my blogworld...
(most recent searches leading wanderers into our class...)
Google search: rubber "boots stuck" mud
Google search: "squatting in skirts"
Google search: "i was made to play in the park with no pants under my short skirt"
Google search: "redhead vamp"
Google search: "teary and upset easily"

... obviously I need to start coming up with better stuff to write about LOL

Shame On Her!

My MIL is an EVIL person.

...and that's all I'm going to say about that.

Just don't expect me to answer the phone if you call any time soon.

OMG!

hok. even funnier than my boss telling me I can only have one week off.

5 days before my surgery and the doctor told my dh this morning that he has the full-blown flu. I do not want to go home. I don't even want to be in the same city or breathe the same air! Am I awful??

OMG... that's funny. welcome to my life.

EDITED 3:00: after a couple hours of serious thought and a call to my dr (who by the way is out of the office this week, I talked to the nurse...) I went to my gp and got a shot and 2rxs to try and keep me healthy... now maybe I can go home.

More On (Moron?!) the Boss & Stuff...

First of all, welcome home Jaye! I'm glad you're back, Girl!

I'm still a little ticked off about him saying that yesterday. He actually asked me after that..."how am I supposed to find a file if I need one?" GOOD GRIEF! I've been asking him for three weeks if he wants me to hire a temp to come in and handle some of his light stuff and he keeps saying NO. Guess he's just gonna pester the hell out of me until I finally feel so guilty I do come back early... but it's surely not going to be in just a week. From what I'm hearing, I'm going to be feeling worse at week 4 than at the beginning because of the way the body heals, so he's just gonna have to buck up and suffer. I'm not going to be able to lift a freeking stapler, much less a client file so I dont' know what he's expecting from me. So anyway... I've been totally swamped and everything he puts on my desk is 'right now' 'right now' ...I'm thinking about starting a pool and selling chances on when I finally cave and come back to work. what do you think? LOL

I have a lot to do in the next 5 days. The kids have have been helping scrub floors and pick up the house a little bit, exactly what Spring Break should be for!

Did I mention that I'm a little ticked off at my boss for even saying that? Whether he meant it or not? After five freeking years of loyalty and staying here and working for him even when he promised me a raise and can't afford to give it to me... to even SUGGEST that I'd come back to this madhouse just a week after major surgery... GRRRRRRR....

ROFLMAO - (not!)

The doctor told me I'm going to be off of work for 6 weeks.

This morning my boss told me I can take ONE week off.

Hahahahahahahaahhahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahah
that's funny.

TMI. Really. TMI. (I warned you!)

cystoscopy.

Ever head of that word before?

I hadn't. At least not up until yesterday I hadn't.

My dr. told me I need to go see this other dr. for a "CONSULT" before my surgery. I figured no big deal. They were booked solid for the next 3 weeks but somehow managed to squeeze me in. I didn't complain even after I sat in the lobby waiting for 2 hours and 5 minutes before they called me into the back for my "CONSULT."

Yeah, right.

The nurse was fabulous. Sweetest thing since God created honey. Asked me all of my pre-op questions and made me feel right at home. The doctor was your typical creepy doctor. I wasn't real impressed. He told me what his part of the procedure was going to be and what he is going to do. No sweat. Then he said he needed to take a look. INSIDE. my bladder. uh... you're kidding, right? 'JUST TO MAKE SURE ITS HEALTHY'. ummmm... it's working fine, didn't your nurse tell you I had just pee'd in the cup she handed me? My bladder is just freeking peachy thankyouverymuch.

Yeah well...

Something to do with the labor 20 years ago from my first child or something they needed to take a quick peek and see... so they did. and I'M WHINING.

It wasn't so totally horrid during the procedure. The lydocane helped make the scope not totally so painful, more like just a lot uncomfortable. And getting to watch the inside of my bladder up there on the tv screen in front of us helped give me something to think about. But I swear. I have never felt so freeking violated in my life. The place you pee from is NOT MADE for a freeking camera to take a trip up exploring. End of story.

The lydocane didn't last long. Tylenol isn't that much help either.
I've spent the past 24 hours feeling like I could just rip somebody's eyeballs right out of their head. Pretty bad I tell you.
I know... I know... TMI.
But you can't say I didn't warn you.

Email To A Friend...

I sent an email to Lady Di yesterday afternoon... yes, I've posted about her before but it's been a while. She's a friend of mine who works over at the med center...

From: XY&Z, Attorneys
Sent: Wednesday, March 07, 2007 4:06 PM
To: Lady Di
Subject: Mark your calendar!

Hey Girl. Since we can't catch up for lunch, I've decided to check into your fine establishment and spend a few days within shouting distance of you. Put March XXth down on your calendar. I'm having an abdominal hysterectomy... ...might get to see you a couple of days in a row in fact if I like the place enough to stay...

Love ya
Kimdergarten

Her reply was perfect! ...

From: Lady Di
To: XY&Z Attorneys
Sent: Thursday, March 08, 2007 8:43 AM
Subject: RE: Mark your calendar!

I know. You are a giver. You will never know how much I appreciate your doing this so I can see you.

Lady Di.

Spring...

Setting the clocks back early this year (Sat., don't forget!) falls right in with the theme that I see all around me every time I step outside... Leaves on the trees are getting larger... the early blooming flowers are everwhere... pinks and purples and bright whites... the next few weeks are lovely until we are totally enveloped in a sea of green as far as you can see...

Spring is my most favorite thing about living in the south. You just didn't SEE it in CA the way you do here...

It's a short span in time that makes you forget it won't be but a few more weeks and the humidity will be back in full force, along with the mosquitos...

I think I'll see if I can make today last a little longer than usual... it sure is pretty out there!

If you pray...

Please whisper some words to guide those BigBlueBureuacraticDudes just outside the mile high city in CO in their decision concerning Mr.SoonToBeBlue's academic future... the counselor called me 15 minutes ago to let us know they were in the process of reviewing Mr.SoonToBeBlues complete file... I'm a wreck. A mess. The stress is worse on this mom than if he had applied to Harvard. I'm shaking and it will be days if not weeks before we hear what the decision is either way...

so, if you pray...

Finished!

So... we've got a gig in a couple of weeks... part timg job #2 starting up again for the year I'm afraid... and I'm starting part time job #3 on the 1st of April. Oh yeah, and I'm starting part time job #4 on the 1st of May. Guess I've finally had enough whine with my cheese and figured the only way to solve the problem of not getting my raise is to find another way of going about getting it. ...in theory, all three part time jobs and full-time job #1 are supposed to work together and give me the opportunity to walk out of said dead end dysfunctional law-firm job on the given day when I've finally had ENOUGH. In reality, I already don't have time to breathe, so the added work and responsibility are most likely going to overwhelm and lead to screaming fits. And to top it off, in the middle of all of this, I'm supposed to be scheduling surgery. The dr told me a couple of weeks ago that I need to have the big H. Thank heavens at least THAT's gonna be done and over with. The only drawback to the whole ordeal is waiting to see when they're going to do it, because I just don't have time to have an abdominal hysterectomy... places to go and people to see and all that, ya know? ... the thought of having 4-8 weeks away from this place is enough to get me rolling on the floor in a fit of giggles. After all of my bitchin and complainin' ...I'm gonna get to see what it feels like to quit and be away from this place without having to actually say the words 'I quit" and walk out the door... SWEET!

Supposed to know tomorrow WHEN.... so at least I can start juggling meetings and seminars and see how it will all play out...

Gotta run!

Sec Update!

Boss is growling because the sec has taken over his desk and office. He growled louder when I had to answer the phones because ...as he stated, 'she's too busy practicing law to do her job!'
...last week he stood in the hall shaking his head and mentioned...'she's going to get somebody disbarred!'

As for me, I don't care about this place anymore. I come to work, do my job, and try to ignore the whole dysfunctional mess. I'm going to get an extra month or so of vacation this year, for medical reasons... and believe it or not I think I'm actually really looking forward to the down time away from here. Will post more about THAT later on in the week...

Gotta run...

Rabbits! Rabbits!

I love the 1st day of March... the Japanese Magnolias started to bloom a few days ago. The Bradford Pears are blooming today. Baby leaves are popping out all over the trees. ...it is warm enough to dig out the summer clothes and wear them a time or two before the last short cold snap passes through. Yeah. Life in the South! This weekend I'll be sipping amaritto & o.j. watching the sun come up over the water early in the morning... sweet! ...I have a lot to think about right now. Might even have a lot to write about... we'll see.

Happy March!