Freeking Peachy - Again...
I woke up this morning ready to pack up Lil'DD and her clothes and just leave everything and drive to my Mom's in Califnrnia. DH and I have been together 9 years, and in all that time while I've been more 'content' than 'happy,' I've never once thought about just chucking it all and running away. Until today. I spent most of the morning wondering "what on earth is WRONG with me??" ...I never had post-partum depression after the babies were born but I swear I've got it now, and how. Day after day for the past two weeks I've told myself ... "things just seem worse than they really are right now..." it was a really rough morning for me, again.
Then about 1:15 I saw an 18 year old kid come into the office to wait to see one of the attorneys. He had a 45 minute wait (it was the only time he could get a ride) so I got a pretty good look at him. The kid was filthy. Not like 18-year-old-working-or-playing-hard-in-the-summertime dirty. Dirty like he was homeless and hadn't had a bath in quite a while. Which he was and he hadn't. He was wearing dirty flannel pajama bottoms and a dirty white t-shirt. flannel pajamas and it's over 100 degrees outside.
Maybe I don't want to be in such a hurry to pack up and run away after all. Maybe I'm very lucky that my own 18 year old boy is wearing his combat boots and BDU's out marching in 75 degree weather in the middle of the tropical storm that's pounding Texas the next couple of days. Maybe I'm also very lucky that my 19 year old girl is wearing her combat boots in a nice air-conditioned office up in Virginia. And maybe I'm also very lucky that my 16 year old baby girl is on her way home from school right now and will be home when I get there tonight...maybe a little sweaty, but wearing clean clothes and having had a bath before school today, with a roof over her head and good food to eat...
Maybe it's not all about being happy.
Maybe content is okay.
Maybe.
Then about 1:15 I saw an 18 year old kid come into the office to wait to see one of the attorneys. He had a 45 minute wait (it was the only time he could get a ride) so I got a pretty good look at him. The kid was filthy. Not like 18-year-old-working-or-playing-hard-in-the-summertime dirty. Dirty like he was homeless and hadn't had a bath in quite a while. Which he was and he hadn't. He was wearing dirty flannel pajama bottoms and a dirty white t-shirt. flannel pajamas and it's over 100 degrees outside.
Maybe I don't want to be in such a hurry to pack up and run away after all. Maybe I'm very lucky that my own 18 year old boy is wearing his combat boots and BDU's out marching in 75 degree weather in the middle of the tropical storm that's pounding Texas the next couple of days. Maybe I'm also very lucky that my 19 year old girl is wearing her combat boots in a nice air-conditioned office up in Virginia. And maybe I'm also very lucky that my 16 year old baby girl is on her way home from school right now and will be home when I get there tonight...maybe a little sweaty, but wearing clean clothes and having had a bath before school today, with a roof over her head and good food to eat...
Maybe it's not all about being happy.
Maybe content is okay.
Maybe.
posted by Kim at 2:32 PM
4 Comments:
KIM I was thinking NO SHE DID NOT TAKE THIS KID HOME,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Isn't it amazing how we take so many things for granted sometimes? It's nice when we realize how good we've got it.
Doubt we'll get any of the rain up in my neck of the woods. I think I'm a little too far north. We could use it though. I got spoiled those first couple months of summer.
Kim: I noticed at the library last week that Brooke Shelds has an audio book of her journey through post-partum. She is such a courageous person who is so likable. Might be worth a listen? I find her very interesting. :)
I remember when my mom went a little nuts- it was towards the time I graduated from high school and I would say I wanted to go out with friends or something and she would freak and start crying- she was irritable and moody and a little scary. Then she had an allergic reaction to something in the yard and they put her on steroids and she really felt better- so she told her doc and he put her on BC pills to kind of balance her out- and all the crazy went away.
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