Adventures In Redneck Land...
One of the wonderful things about living in the South is that it's still 80 degrees most days and we're still waiting for fall... weekends like this just past have the opportunity of being a real adventure...
Redneck Drunk - pops a top at 4 a.m. and never has less than a 6 pack by his/her side. Known to be reckless and dangerous...
Redneck Olympics - often include games such as the beer can crunch, bottletop twist and pitch, keg pump, and loudest/longest belch. Can be fun to observe if you are sober...
Redneck Parade - five or more ATV's going no place in particular, loaded down with people, dogs, guns, flashlights, ice chests, chainsaws, and other necessary stuff for a parade...
Redneck Superstition - "...This here's what you have to do if you want to kill a deer. You have to sleep with the dog. Homer slept with the dog last night and he got hisself one this mornin' while he was eating his breakfast out in dem dar woods..."
Redneck Football - played with a (hopefully empty) plastic whiskey bottle. Hilarious...
Redneck Sushi - eating anything that crawls (and is still alive) and is usually found under a log. Grubs. Worms. Crawly wiggly things. Not to be watched if you have a weak stomach. Live fear factor...
Redneck Nightclub Night - getting all dressed up to go and party at the bait store. If you don't have a gal bring the dog...
Redneck Target Practice - sighting in your new gun while shooting at the rats running around in the rafters...
posted by Kim at 9:04 AM
17 Comments:
Thanks for stopping by goth.
Funny.
I think most of these seem very glamourous compared to the rednecks here.
Redneck porn - watching the hounds go at it.
Oh Gosh how could I have forgotten that one??
Bennet - all true, I promise!
Glad you had a good time, Kim. ;)
OMG Kim ..that picture you posted could be in Hawaii where I am building a home. In fact I think some of these REDNECKS are disquised at what we call MOKES up here. They have the same activities.. I swear.
LOL!
Very funny. Reminds me of home. lol
So did you start your quit again today? You can do it! :o)
I needed a good laugh today. Thanks
Wife - tried 2 days ago. Need a new strategy. Still working on it.
Tig - talk about laughing, you should see some of this stuff for real!
YOU ARE SICK!!! Where do you find plastic whiskey bottles? Belching is my daughters pride!!!!
Try going to quitnet.com, it's really helped me!
Classy...McCormicks makes whiskey in plastic bottles...and vodka, and gin, and tequila...to be found as "well liquors" in bars all over. Sure fire way straight to a nasty hangover.
What, no sledding? Im a little disappointed.
I think your family and my moms side of the family should hang out.
Jaye -- why do you think I told you I went home early??
Wife - thank you I will definitely check it out in the morning.
Sara - this was NOT my family. These were observations. Well. Ok. MsSoonToBeBlue was one of the ones eating bugs but that's all I'll admit to! My family are all still on the west coast! LOL
All tig has to has to do is come visit mom. I Thought I was living in the middle of red neck country.
I'm terrified of voicing my opinions on religion or politics.
They still may tar and feather people here.
*snort*
:)
Gran - he's lucky he has you. My mom is so far away we don't have any family to visit on the holidays.
Mike - you'll never know, now will you ?
Idgie - you KNOW, don't you? LOL
80 degrees? Here in Tucson it got down to 30 last night! Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
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