Monday, October 31, 2005

Spooks and Gobblins!

Happy Halloween! :)



The girls at the firm across the street must have dressed up today. I just watched one of them run from the street to the door in full witch's garb, flowing cape and tresses... Hope you get more treats than tricks!

Sigh...

I'm Here. Somebody showed up on time for work this morning with sugar replacing the icewater in her veins. Man I hate this place...

more details in comments. Don't want to put it on the front page...

Friday, October 28, 2005

Ok Here Ya Go!!!

Fridays' Scorecard Update...

The Queen left at 2:30 after we had a shouting match.
The PowersThatBe and I had a heart to heart immediately following.
That's all I can say for now because it's not over yet.
I'm pushing the buttons now.
Stay tuned.

Not A Scorecard Update... Yet

3rd post today, another boring Friday!

She is Up. To. Something. And for the life of me I can't figure out what it is. Never before in the three years and some odd months that I've called this place a job, has she been on time for work in the morning AND taken exactly an hour for lunch. (She usually only makes it on time once or twice a year and makes it on time back from lunch less than that...) But it's happend folks. It's not only official, it's downright spooky. Something out of a Stephen King novel. It's scarey (insert theme music from JAWS here, and keep it playing!) Something's going to happen. Be afraid. Be very, very afraid. (I know I am!)

The UNFortune

Gosh I've been having so much fun with my boots this week. It's been so cold I've been able to wear a different pair every day and still have five pairs I haven't worn yet. Every day someone comments about them. Today I got very bery brave and wore a new pink sweater with... the pink boots! DH and I met for lunch and someone came up and asked where I got them.

Oh, so about the unfortune. We had chineese, which was great. Until she brought our bill and our fortune cookies. My cookie had no fortune! None at all... which is not a good thing right now. You know how superstitious I am about those two particular things, right? Well, this could really make an impact on them both! Gosh, the hunter's ball is tomorrow night... we're supposed to get back just in time to make it there... does no fortune mean no deer for my freezer?? (It's still almost empty since we lost everything in both freezers from Katrina...) and even worse than that... the preliminary rounds of that big tourney start next week... does that mean I should not play or what? Goodness. Perhaps the pink boots are jinxed.

Good thing I don't take those things (fortune cookies) seriously. I could be scarred for life! ;)

About... Stuff

I was going to post about buzzards this morning, because I forgot to finish my post yesterday with them. I love buzzards even though DH assures me that they are ugly, nasty creatures. I love to watch them hop, stare, and fly. They are so totally cool. But I can't come up with a whole post about them so I'm not going to write about them after all.

Don't have much of a scorecard update, even though it is Friday. I'm sure there will most likely be one later in the day though. It's only the second time it's happened in a year, but the sec got here before me this morning, and everybody has already said she'll probably waltz her sorry ass out of here by noon. (which will make it about 5 months solid she's taken off half a day or more on Friday... but we'll wait and cross that bridge when we come to it)... I haven't spoken to her since 9a.m. Wednesday, and don't plan to. It's awfully peaceful.

DH is doing the E.P. thing this weekend in two different cities so we'll be on the road a bit. We're booked almost every weekend into mid-january, and I'm really hoping to take a couple months off after that. It's almost a second full-time job for both of us right now, plus all our volunteer work and the kids on top of that, we're getting tired. (Maybe we're getting old??)

Guess that's it for now.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Finally!

I've been waiting all month for October to get over so I could stop posting dolls with costumes every few days at the top of my page. Maybe in November I can come up with something better. Probably not, but at least this is the last of the halloween dolls!

About... Roadkill.

Growing up in California I missed out on learning a lot of things my own kids already know. How to pee behind a bush. That you shouldn't step in a mud puddle when you are walking in the woods because chances are, there will be one or two snakes waiting for you right there in that puddle. What you can eat out in the woods and what you can't. At their age, I was busy hanging out with my girlfriends at disneyland or knotts berry farm every weekend when it was too cool to be at the beach. We were perfecting speaking the language that is a cross between the valley girl "grody to the max," and "fur shur" and the surfer chick's "wow, dude. that totally rocks." Some days I forget that when I get onto my kids about their southern talk and redneck jokes.

That crazy little girl is still inside of me, even though I'm 37 now and have to be a grown up most of the time. I always find her when I'm driving, the innocent wonder of the unknown is exciting to me. A couple years ago, the first time I saw a real live racoon running across a pasture in front of our ATV, I was so excited I shrieked. But the very most bestest thing of all I've discovered, is roadkill. You see, they don't have things like that very much in the SoCal freeway (which is the same thing as an "interstate" down south...).

The first few years we lived in the south, I must have driven my hubby crazy. "Wait! What WAS THAT???" Each and every time we drove past a pile of guts and fur in the road I would have to know what kind of animal it was. You can't hardly go a mile in this part of the country without seeing several different kinds of animals splattered across the road. It's really sad that the animals have to die, but looking past that, it is totally cool the many animals you get to learn about. Coons. Possums. Squirells. And lots of others that I can't always readily identify. Perhaps the reason I love seeing the animals, even if they aren't alive anymore, is because up until this point in my life, you had to pay good money to see critters and spend all day walking around looking at them in cages and pens at the zoo. I had no idea that you could see them right there in the middle of the road while you were driving by, unless you were on the drive-through tour at wild animal kingdom, of course. I've seen two baby spotted fawns dead on the side of the road and that was absolutely horrible though. I didn't like seeing bambi dead. They are supposed to grow up.

It's been fun learning how to cook southern dishes. Grits. Gravy. Fried chicken (yep, I just learned how to make fried chicken five years ago, and only learned to do gravy this past May!) okra and tomatoes... fried corn. I'd never even HEARD of a black eyed pea before a few years ago, go figure. Sometime my family isn't always on board with my first attempts at making these new dishes, but they're learning. Maybe it's because now that I am getting better at figuring out which animal is which as we are driving past the roakill each week, I've learned to holler out, "Stop! Wait a minute! That looks fresh... I need to go back and pick it up for dinner!" which sends my kids into hysterics and causes my husband to roll his eyes and keep driving. You know you can really buy something here in the sauce section of the grocery called "Road Kill Sauce" ...I've never bought any but it's fun to think about... what WOULD they do if I did? HAH.

EDITED 9:37: Perhaps it is my childish behavior at the moment which has made me write this post. The sec and I have not spoken in 24.5 hours and it has been wonderful. She really pissed me off yesterday, because after the other events that I posted, she took a 1 hour 45 minute lunch and all I had time to do was run around the corner and grab a coke since she was so damn inconsiderate, again. After all her other b.s., I heard her pick up her purse at 4:30 and rattle her keys, but I already had my stuff shut off and was waiting for that. I ran out the door ahead of her and slammed it in her face. I am not used to being mad for the entire day, and felt kinda awful about it. I had to stop and really pray when I got home so I could let it go. Now, ignoring each other is a good thing. My boss is ignoring her as well, so it's awfully quiet here again today. Hopefully now I can deal with things better and not let her get to me so much, I'm trying...

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

1:00 And All Is Well...

Not really. I thought that was better than being ugly though. Her Highness is on a long lunch. She came back to work earlier and we got into a shouting match and I'm still ticked off at her. This is the quietest day we've ever had at the office, she's not speaking to anyone except one particular atty who's butt she's kissing at the moment. I don't like being angry this long, but you know what? I'm so damn tired of having to make peace with her every time she pulls her shit that right now, walking away is taking all my energy. I've never yelled at anyone at work before, my whole life. (All I said when I yelled at her was "Quit Fussing At Me ______(insert her real name here)) ...

Another Rant...

32 degrees in October in the deep South?? Be afraid of the coming winter... be very, very afraid.

If you don't want to hear anymore about the sec or this awful job, just click the back button or x out of your browser right now!

I am so fed up with this place and hoping that sooner or later someone will call on one of DH's resumes. I'm sending his out rather than mine, because while I've got a ton of education, he's an engineer with excellent references from his past employers (that's what happens when you take many years off to stay at home and raise kids, I'm afraid...). Anyway, something just has to give pretty soon. I am just about absolutely sick of this place. It's been over 2 years since my last raise, and frankly, these people just can't afford to pay me any more. (their account stays in overdraft as it is... but that's only because the sec is in charge of that account and she's a whole nother paragraph in this particular rant post...) I have no benefits, at all. No insurance, no 401k, no sick days... the ONLY good thing about working here right now is I can take off like yesterday. Other than that, if I were a hating sort of person, I would really think about hating my job here.

Of course working with the sec doesn't make it any easier. Yesterday when I walked past her desk and told her "see you in the morning" she turned into a full-blown monster. Fire shooting out the eyes and nail spitting sort of (b)witch. She was REALLY ticked off that my boss had given me the afternoon off... she's said repeatedly how she works so many more hours that I do and they don't pay her enough (she takes home almost 700 a week!) (HAH) Anyway, yesterday morning I called and woke her up at ten minutes before eight. She was in bed, as usual and said she'd be in --in an hour or so. One of the attys heard my side of the conversation and said, "Why doesn't she use an alarm clock, like normal people?" ...nothing normal about that broad, that's for sure. So then, this morning, knowing full well she's still ticked off at me for leaving yesterday AND most likely still asleep, I called her at 7:35 and in my brightest and most cheerful voice woke her up and asked her if she wanted me to pick up breakfast, since I had time to stop. She growled and went back to sleep. At ten minutes before eight, a client was already here at the office needing to sign something she was supposed to have done yesterday. I called her (woke her up a second time) she said she hadn't done it and cussed me out for calling her at ten minutes to eight (she's supposed to be here by eight, right?) ...SO. Like I said, I could really hate this place.

Sorry to keep fussing about the same old thing. We're praying about how to fix it and sending resumes, trying to fix it... and waiting to see what God's plan for us is going to be...

EDITED 9:01... my boss just told me he needed me to run somewhere with him to give someone an oath (as a notary I can swear people (hehehe)... anyway, the sec heard him say it, picked up her purse and said, "I'm going home" and walked out the door. He told me to call her and see if she's coming back (the office will be locked and empty now!) and she hung up on me! Gosh what a weenie she is...

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

About... Cool Stuff!

No matter how much I rant about the misery of this place (see post from earlier today), some things still amaze me. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. Right this very minute it is good. The powers that be have granted me the rest of the day off to spend with Ms.SoonToBeBlue, so I can make the b-day special. Who would thunk it?

See y'all tomorrow.

Brrrr!

Today is officially the first day of boot weather in the South. It's been 35 degrees the past two mornings when I've come to work. This morning, it not only is 35 degrees OUTSIDE, but it is 35 degrees INSIDE as well. Why it's this cold, in OCTOBER, is beyond me. Why it's this cold in the office, is, well, like everything else around this place, a joke. Remember back right before Katrina came, when the a/c went out and they had to put a new unit in? As long as they ran both units together, the building felt wonderful. BUT. Not it's time to fire up the ole heat for a few days until this cold front realizes it's in the wrong part of the country for this time of year. The new unit heats great. EXCEPT it's working too hard because the other unit (the one that was not replaced) is not blowing at all. No heat. No fan. Nothing. And of course it's so cold I can hardly type. My coffee won't stay hot for five minutes and I have to run and pour it out and get another cup. It sucks, as usual, because most things about this place tend to suck. The heating/ a/c dude won't be in his office until 3, which also about figures in this half-a-horse town. It is COLD. And did I say it sucks?

Have a wonderful day.

Oh, almost forgot. Even though I know she'll never read this, it's Ms.SoonToBeBlue's 18th birthday today. Happy Birthday Ms.SoonToBeBlue! :)
And if you get the chance, stop by Linda's Blog and leave her a kind word. Her son leaves for army boot camp today!

Monday, October 24, 2005

Lessons


Three things to remember from this past weekend: Fake eyelashes are FUN! But when you apply too much adhesive and it gets up into the crease of your eyelid and glues your eye open so you cannot blink, it isn't so very much fun at all. ALSO, having two teenagers in the house who both have driver's permits is not fun either, in fact, it can be absolutely frightening. Remember to wear your crash helmet next trip out! AND... never, never, never use a new strong-scented body wash and then apply new strong-scented lotion just before bed. You will wake up again and again and again throughout the night trying to figure out what strange woman has crawled into bed with you and your DH!

Happy Monday...
Oh! Those of you who use Haloscan for your comments, Idgie, Lyvvie, THeWife, and the rest... I tried to leave all of you comments this morning but your haloscan isn't working right now!!

P.S. 9 weeks from today Ms.SoonToBeBlue will be flying away. UGGH.

Friday, October 21, 2005

*Sigh*

3rd post today... pathetic! Scroll down for more

I've browsed everybody's blogs five times today at least. I had all of my own work finished early and of course it, being Friday, meant that the sec had to leave work several hours early, after totally grossing me out (see earlier post). I'm bored. Not a good thing. Still sitting here with nothing to do waiting for one atty to finish w/ a client and see if he has anything else to be done before I go. The firm across the street was closed up and gone before 3 today, they're the ones who open an hour later than we do. Anyway, the only reason I know that is because I'm so bored I walked out earlier and glanced at the day.

The carnival is tomorrow and I think the teens that are working the HHouse with me have just about everything ready to be put together. We did add the chainsaw person so thanks again for the idea Sara! I'm kind of afraid it will be too scarey for the little kids, but we'll see. The other Mom who helps me supervise and I really enjoy this. If I can sneak a picture or two from my phone camara, I'll post them Monday...

Guess I'll go click the next button and see what happens.

Friday's Scorecard Update...

I guess it just would not be Friday without ranting about the sec one more time for the week.

It's strange though. It doesn't feel like Friday today. Nobody is in a hurry to get out of here, which is not normal at all.

SO. Here's my notes for those of you keeping score. It's so gross, you might want to close your eyes and not read this part. She did it again. The bathroom. I don't know why she can't take care of things like a lady, I swear. I went in, to go I mean. And she'd left a huge splatter of blood dropped across the SIDE OF THE TOILET SEAT. Right there until it dried and I had to be the one to find it! EEwww. Gross. She's done it before like that too. So I had three alternatives. I could either A) clean up after her (HUH? NOT) B) use the men's room (Uh, I think I'll pass...) or C) run upstairs to the other conference room and use that one... I chose D) instead... and decided I'd wait until I got home and pee in my own, clean toilet!

She is a mess, do you hear me?

TGIF

Nothing creative today, sorry. Have a nice weekend.

Edited 12:04 p.m.:
P.S. ...flooding four particular states with DH's resume and hoping for some nibbles.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

About... HUH?

We ate lunch today at a new, horrible restaurant. It was bad. BUT. On my way out the door, I glanced over at the homemade jellies on display. There was Kudsu Jelly. It didnt look like Kudzu. The label said Kudsu. I wonder if there is a difference? At least somebody's found some use for the stuff!

Lawgirl & The Pink Boots, Part 2

Last February, Lawgirl had cold feet and went out in search of warm boots. I wrote a glorious post on the entire happening, which sadly was deleted when my old blog here went *poof* ...let me see if I can give you a bit of history here. In the wintertime, the office where Lawgirl works gets so cold, the feet don't have a chance to get warm until the weekend, when she could cuddle up under a blanket at home. Someone told her about UGG boots, warm and toasty and trendy at places like the big city where Lawgirl dreamed of living one day again... She searched far and wide across the small town that was home to Lawgirl and her family. One store after another (all of 7!) told her, sadly, there were no more boots to be found, they all sold out at Christmas and there would be no more... but one day, finally, Lawgirl tried the very last store in the whole darn town and alas! There was one pair of boots sitting on the shelf, the very last one in the whole darn town in fact. In her size. The only problem was, the boots were PINK! Lawgirl did not own one pink item in the whole world... so she looked at the boots. Tried them on. Put them back on the shelf and paced the store, looking... hoping... there might be one hidden there in some other color. Sadly, the sales clerk shook her head, "Last pair..." she said. Lawgirl snatched up the box, paid for them and ran out the door before she changed her mind. She wore the pink boots, all winter. Feet were warm, problem solved. Well, that's part one in a nutshell, I guess.

About that time, Lawgirl looked at her wardrobe and realized, hmmm, not only did she not own anything pink, she, in fact, did not own anything much with color in it at all. Black. Black. Black. Black pants and black shoes and black blazers and black dresses. When the end of winter sales hit, Lawgirl bought four business suits for the next upcoming winter. Black, of course, with teal. Black, of course, with mauve. She also got very brave and bought one blue and one burgandy. HAH! Nothing, though, that would match the pink warm boots which were sitting on the floor of the closet just waiting for that first cold day to appear. Summer came and went and towards the end of it, Lawgirl went into a boot frenzy! Boots were everywhere, in all the stores and she started stocking up. She bought dressy boots, high boots and low boots and boots with heels and of course, three more pairs of fake uggs. She stacked them up in the closet and in the kitchen, still in the boxes. Black ones. Brown ones. Tan ones. (Eleven pairs in all so far...) To compliment the pink ones, on other days of the week, of course. There would be no cold feet this winter... and Lawgirl had officially turned into a fashion disaster.

With the boots waiting at home (it was still too warm in the south for boots! In the 40s when you leave for work in the morning and darn near 90 by 3 in the afternoon... the boots would have to wait for cooler days!) Lawgirl set off to the mall in search of some more outfits for when the cooler days set in. She shopped for a whole hour, there were sales you see. All three stores in the mall had 40% off or better, and she was just a shopping. She bought a cute pair of pants, black. She bought a sassy pair of cords. Again, black. She picked up a pair of coulots (sp?) "Hmmm... these are back in style? I remember them from the early 80s!" But as she headed for the register, she realized that alas, these too were, black. Lawgirl sadly put them back on the rack and headed back into one of the other two stores. Forcing herself to purchase color, she found a sweater, PINK! To go just right with the pink boots! Dreading each step she went back to a display of fall colored chords. Low rise with a slight flare to the leg... could she? Should she? Timidly she picked up a cream colored pair. Nope. She put them back. Cream was too plain. She wanted to be bold. Brave. She picked up a rust colored pair and a pine green colored pair, knowing she did not have a blouse or sweater to match either one, and marched up to the register... and paid for the damn things.

Now Lawgirl is set for fall and winter with warm shoes and colors! There is no dress code at her work and she could probably show up in her bathrobe with hair in curlers and no one would mind. But she is going to be sassy this time around. Bright. (yeah right, guarandamntee you it will be color once a month and black the rest of the time...!) Lawgirl hates to go shopping. She still needs something to match the uh, fall colored pants, but that will come in time. When the days get cold she will be warm. And colorful!



SCORECARD UPDATE Things happened this morning when I was working on this post, and y'all aren't going to believe this one! When I got here at 7:45 there were already people standing outside the office waiting on the sec to sign some stuff she didn't get around to doing yesterday. I waited until 8 a.m. and called her. No answer. Five minutes later the phone rang and it was her. She told me she didn't have her car, she went out all night last night and got drunk and was still drunk and needed somebody to come and get her. Knowing her as I do, this wasn't really a surprise to me. When the attys showed up, I told her story to the first one who arrived. He didn't answer me, and in fact, took the garbage out. About ten minutes later, after having had ample time to think it over, he walked in to my desk and said, "She's really starting to put us out" ...to which I promptly replied, "You are just now realizing this?" He then asked me, "will you go get her?" (HUH?) I looked him square in the eye (which, if you hadn't picked up on it, is something I've worked very hard to learn how to do since I started working here) and said, "No! Why should I spend MY gas to go get her?? You go pick her up." He shook his head in disbelief! and said. "No, I'm not going to go get her. You go. I'll answer the phones..." So I went.

So, DH and I have been praying for almost a year that something will soon come up so we can get out of here. There are some things we really love and others that outweigh them. It's time to go. When God opens that door for us, we're going to be ready. I have the feeling though, it will be another move to some small town, because the boot lady isn't gonna fit in with the big city lawgirls.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

About... Wednesday

Wasn't going to post today because I'm tired of writing about work, even more tired of thinking about our dear, darling sec. Lil'MissSoonToBeBlue is at work with me today catching up my filing...

that's all folks.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Hmmm...

Hey, if you've read my post on hunting, Idgie has a cute story about exactly the opposite of mine over at Fried Green Tomatos. (check it out!) It's really cute and she takes the Bambi perspective to the stand that my mother does. (Every year before season starts, mother puts the "Bambi Curse" on me, so I don't get a chance to put meat in my freezer... anyway. Go. Read. Cute story.

Oh Yeah!

(second post today...I'm on a roll this week!)

Romani Heart gave us a wonderful post today about "what comes around, goes around." (check it out!) I've spent the entire morning setting the sec up for her own dose of it, to be sure. Example: (phone call) No mam, I'm sorry that isn't finished. Yes, mam, I understand you were told she would have it done yesterday but she didn't get to it and I just can't get to it today. If you could be here at (insert some early morning hour here) in the morning and wait for a short time, we'll make sure she gets it ready for you to sign... (stacking her up-- points scored!) Example: No sir, I can't make those copies from your file for you today. Mr. so and so gave the file to the sec and Lord knows where she's put your stuff. If you could be here at (insert same early morning hour here) in the morning and wait for a short time, I'm sure she'll be glad to get her hands on it and make those copies. (stacking her up-- points scored! She absolutely HATES making copies and hates it even more when people are waiting for her to do something because that means she has to work... I'm betting that she will be absolutely totally rude to all these people I'm lining up to bug her in the morning and makes every one of them come back, which will stretch this out and make my giggles laugh for a couple more days...) Example: No mam, the sec didn't show up for work again today. Who am I? Mr. X's legal assistant, Is there something I can help you with? Sure, I can do that. I'd be glad to get it ready for you. I'll leave that with the sec in the morning for you to pick up at (insert same early morning hour here!), I'm sorry I can't have it for you any earlier than that, but I'm the only one on the phones today... (Gonna overwhelm her first thing, I hope!)

Actually, my own stuff is totally caught up and finished. I'm just making excuses and playing her silly game today. What comes around, goes around, right? I'm just helping it along a little bit...

and here it is... 1:15 p.m. Guess who just pranced her happy ass through the back door? Bitching, moaning and complaining about how she hates this place, how they don't pay her enough for how hard she works (HUH???) How she wishes they would fire her so that she could go to work someplace else... (yeah right)...

I just figured out why I can't quit my job... I wouldn't have ANY good stuff to write about LOL.

About... Stuff.

Have I blogged about hold-em this week? Hmmm... don't think so. Guess it's time because it's really on my mind this morning. I haven't been playing quite as much lately. Trying to focus some extra time and attention on Ms.SoonToBeBlue. The phone's been a-ringing and emails are flying back and forth. There's a big game coming up in a dozen weeks or so and I'm trying to figure out whether or not to play. It's on the WPT (worldpokertour!!) and opens the door to the world championship game in Vegas. (Not the WSOP, we went to that back in July, but the WPT world championship tournament...) Anyway. The game is a week or so after the girl leaves for boot camp/basic training and I'm not sure I will either be sober or in my right mind. For now, I'm holding off on paying my entry fee, even though when DH asked me, "Do you think you have a chance in this one?" ...I answered, "yes" and meant it. Guess we'll see.

Right now we're trying to figure out how to draft a LW&T (will) for her to sign next week when she turns 18... in this state a child is a minor until they are 21 (which really is great because you get three extra years to hold that over their heads, they can't move out or rent an apartment or anything until they are 21 unless they emancipate)... The boss is looking into whether under the law she emancipated automatically at 17 when she was sworn in as an inactive reserve/delayed entry, or whether it will be when she goes active in December... and if she signs it when she's 18 and is not active, will it be valid under state law if God forbid, something happens. Anyway. Stupid stuff like that and direct deposit forms and trying to find the perfect sports bra for running and situps and pushups... Whether to cut the hair or not cut the hair... She doesn't even know for sure if she wants to get her driver's license before she goes or when she gets her first leave... What to pack up... she keeps giving stuff away, it breaks my heart every time she passes a pair of jeans or a necklace to her sister... this is hard. Do you hear me? HARD.

And to top it all off, I still haven't dealt with THE ISSUE with my boss. He's really been getting on my nerves a lot lately. One of his bad habits (he has many) is to call everyone he thinks he needs to talk to. Then, he returns all his phone messages for the day. While he's returning his phone messages for the day, all the people he could not reach that he thought he wanted to talk to call and leave another message. So he calls them back. Usually making at least thirty phone calls and of course no one is available so he runs out the door and leaves me to deal with thirty people returning his call and me trying to figure out what I'm supposed to tell each one that he wanted in the first place. This is a regular thing that happens often and bugs the heck out of me. Another bad habit he has picked up is coming up to me every morning for the past week or so, between 9 and 10, and asking me if the sec is coming in to work today. I always reply, "I don't know. I haven't heard from her..." To which he shakes his head and mumbles about her as he walks away. Hell, I'm not her Momma and I'm not her boss. You want to know if she's coming in, pick up the damn phone and give her a call. Or better yet, hire someone responsible enough to get here at 8:00 like the rest of us idiots who work here...

I have the heebie jeebies today pretty bad. Someone was in our office last night. Someone who should not have been. One of the attys (remember I told you about the one who ALWAYS loses everything??) was waiting for me yesterday when I pulled in the parking lot. He was the first one here and had lost his key (AGAIN). When he left yesterday he asked me to leave my key for him outside in a particular place (where they have left keys since before I was born...) which I did. When I came in this morning he asked me if the boss had been in early and gone to court out of town. No, he's here today. Someone had been in the office during the night and left all the lights on when they left. It wasn't the cleaning lady. She was at her other job at the casino. It wasn't the sec, it wasn't me, it wasn't the boss. Who was it and what on earth were they doing here?? Thank God I made all my deposits yesterday and didn't leave any money in my drawer... Boss got mad at him for leaving the key. What else can he say? This is the dysfunctional of dysfunction. Proof of that is that now, all the lights are off in the whole office, except for mine. They are all walking around in the dark this morning. Scarey.

Well, since it looks like the sec isn't going to show up at all again today, I better get away from here and get back to work. Sorry about all the rants. It's much healthier than drinking this early in the day though ;)

SCORECARD UPDATE...for those of you keeping track, the sec did not show up today and did not call... UGGH this placeis driving me bonkers!!!

Monday, October 17, 2005

Bring It On!

third post today... scroll down for more

Somebody told me to pull up the track for Wilma and I'll be darned.

Wooohoooo! Here we go again! Katrina tried, but couldn't. Rita sucked, and didn't. You think you've got what it takes Wilma baby, bring it on.

Tis The Season...

Oh, this is my favorite time of year!

Everywhere you go, you see pickup trucks with 4-wheelers loaded up into the back of them. Homes are decorated in camouflage, as it is drug out and dusted off. The smell of gun oil is in the air as rifles and muzzleloaders are being cleaned... It's almost time!

Our hunting camp has been modernized to extremes that are pathetic. All of us have campers and motorhomes with the necessities. Of course we all need tv's and vcrs and dvd players when we come in from a hard day in the woods, right? Not to mention a wide-screen tv near the pot bellied stove in the camp house, a wonderful old barn on the camp we have converted over the past several years into a comfortable haven for meals and parties. There, is the best-stocked bar in town. Traditionally, we feature a new drink each week... after we're done hunting for the day, of course. The meals... oh, sure, everyone knows that food tastes better when you're out in the open air, but we're talking some really great stuff we all cook together. It's almost time!

I need to get out there and bring the bedding home from the camper and get it washed and ready and I'm sure the refrigerator is a disaster as well from the power being off all that time after Katrina... Surely I didn't leave anything in it last spring when I cleaned out the cabinets and brought everything home... I hope! DH has had one of our ATV's in the back yard torn down and tuning up. Won't be long and our own will be one of those riding around in the back of the truck on the way to the woods!

It's bow hunting season here now. I'm not strong enough to pull a bow. But it won't be long now and it will be my turn! I checked the gun rack the other day to make sure my muzzleloader and rifle had not wandered off since the last time I checked on them... yep! There they were, right next to DH's. I'm the one who likes to go hunting, but sadly, he is the one who always ends up getting the deer...

It's more than a party or a sport or just a season. It simply IS.

The same families get together every year and play and work and hunt and throw the biggest Thanksgiving in the woods you've ever seen. Most of us don't even put our Christmas trees up at home anymore. We cut down a tiny pine from somewhere in the woods and all the kids and grandkids decorate it with handmade items they make inside by the fire... and we spend Christmas vacation there too! It's almost time.

Which reminds me... I need a new pair of hunting boots! I wonder if the deer would mind if I just wore my pink UGGS with my camouflage??

Monday... Monday

Good thing I didn't have money on the books about what time I'd get out of here! HAH. 2:30. AND I left long before she was able to get away. SWEET!

Happy Monday :)

Friday, October 14, 2005

The Race Is On!

third post today... scroll down for more!

Ok. 12:26. I'm almost done. I'm betting on odds that I will be out the door no later than 1:12 and she will still be here. Vroom Vroom~!!

Too Much... Uh?

second post this morning. scroll down for more!

OMG. The sec just showed up for work (56 minutes late) I wish I could do a good visual on this one. She is all of 98 pounds. 50 years old. Her dyed black hair is shorter than 1 inch all over her head (no boobs, rather dykish looking). This morning she is wearing skin tight black stretch jeans, so low that the crack of her ass and her belly flab is hanging over. A short black sweater. I jokingly told her she needs to get a tattoo across her back and get her navel pierced. She walked up to a client and bent over with her booty right up in his face. It took everything I had not to laugh out loud... Every time she walks past my office I start giggling... It's going to be a VERY interesting day!

Scorecard Update!

Today the name of the game is to beat the sec at her own play. Both attys are taking off at noon and it will be a race to see who gets out the door and who has to stay, her, or me. She has worked half a day or less, every friday for the past four months at least. Today, if I'm lucky, I'm going to win.

Wish me luck and have a great weekend!

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Pickles & Jam...

(three posts today. scroll down for love and excitement!)

I'm such a weenie. I ranted to the sec. I went to the partner and cried. But by the time my boss finally showed up after court I did not say a word. The partners reaction was kind of like, so what? so. what. Exactly.

Ok. So, we don't worry about anything here. Nothing at all.

I called my dear friend in big city north of here in LA. I NEVER call her during the day as she works at real law firm in big city. Beginning with, "I am SO sorry for calling while you're at work..." and her following up with, "I'm not at work I'm on my way home. Eight of us just got laid off and I don't know how I'm going to find another job with all the damn evacuees all over the place..." So much for finding job in closest larger style place of employment.

Nothing in the paper here and I called the temp agency at lunch.

So. Nothing at all.

About ...Ethics.

I hate this place. I hate it. Do you hear me? I'm not a hating sort of person, but right now, this very minute, I hate my job more than I've ever disliked anything in my life.

It's an ethics problem. Ongoing and everpresent. And getting worse by the month. This week, I've watched a certain person in authority (can we say head-honcho?) put several thousand dollars into a pocket not meant for the tax people to know about. THEN. This morning I went to write a receipt for a client. The receipt book was missing out of my drawer. Authority had taken it and ripped a page out which matched the said pocket dough. Thus, thousands which I have receipted this week have, POOF! disappeared. He has put ME in a position where it looks like I am not being honest about money I'm handling and it really sucks. I've been meticulous with the trust account and millions of dollars every year. Fuck all of this.

I'm pissed. So mad, in fact, that I'm ready to quit.
We'll see what happens. I'm not sure if I'm going to call him on it and walk out or if I'll just ignore it like you have to do to everything else around this stupid freaking place.

Filthy Trash!

Back BK (before Katrina)... I subscribed to Southern Living magazine. I hadn't taken a magazine in YEARS, and only requested the stupid thing because my boss' house is supposed to be featured in an upcoming issue. The first issue came when the mail started running again, about two weeks AK (after Katrina), I tossed it on the counter and promptly forgot about it.

This morning before work I had a few extra minutes and went to look for it. I was listening to the news, there are still so many people living in tents and needing help, I didn't want to hear any more and started thumbing through this glorious publication... it was the first time such trash had ever touched my fingertips! Plastic houses that children would not be welcome in. Yards that were not kid friendly either! You could not run, jump, or kick a ball in those places! You could not bake cookies with a child or grandchild in those kitchens! Then, the clincher. There was a photo of three southern belles each holding a nut. You know, the kind of woman with the perfect, big, aqua-net hair. Teeth so white they must have paid a fortune for, and the cherry red lipstick, perfectly placed. I could just see them running upstairs each day promptly at 4:55 p.m. to put on their pearls and give that big ole hair a pat and another squirt of aqua net before gliding down the stairs gracefully (on air!) as their hard working husbands came wearily through the door.

Trash. I'm sorry, but what is featured there is NOT southern living. The real homes, the real people. I left the stupid rag for Ms. SoonToBeBlue to look over. I figure she'll put it in her hope chest next to HER pearls. Then, I could not wait to get to work and log on and read the latest happenings over at the DEW. Dew On The Kudzu is a much better look at southern living and the real people who populate the south. The 1% of the population here who are featured in that other fire starter of a publication are few and far between. The editor, Idgie (of Fried Green Tomatoes!) is a funny, talented lady with a heart of gold.

The good ole boys and good ole gals here in the south have found a very special place in my heart. They've adopted me. Taken off the polish and made me over into a human being, instead of one of those plastic women that California had wanted me to be. I'll take the DEW any day over Southern Living. If you haven't seen the difference yet, you might want to check it out for yourself! :)

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

About... Wednesday.

I guess the storm and destruction and worry then trying to get caught up from everything was actually a nice distraction.

Not sure why, but I cried all the way to work this morning. Little Miss SoonToBeBlue is finally turning eighteen in a few days. And it's just a few more weeks until she leaves for boot camp/basic training. One minute she's flopping on the floor like a dead fish because she doesn't want to do any more push ups, or calling me "Mommy," in a babytalk tone of voice... the next she's cleaning the house like a whirlwind and asking me who is in charge of Palestine now that Arafat is dead... DH is frusterated to no end with her contradicting self at the moment, but it is so precious to me. Just a few more weeks and then the next time I see her she will be most likely part stranger, part woman, part airman. Even the other two kids have stopped talking about the painting of the room they are going to do when she leaves... I quit school a couple of weeks ago, needing to treasure every minute she's willing to share with me right now. It's a really weird time in my life.

Work has been really slow. Too slow. The sec and I have had so much free time we've come up with a dream of moving to Vegas and opening up a bar. That way DH could do his hunkahunkaburninglove thing every day while I played poker and the sec lays out by the pool. Like I said, way too much time on our hands around here the past few days...

That's enough for now. maybe something better later.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

About... Scarey Stuff!

I'm not a real big halloween freak or anything like that, but I do volunteer with the youth carnival every fall. The past couple of years I've been asked to help the teenagers with the haunted house. Last year it was a smash, the little kids loved it. There were a couple things though that we want to do different this year, and I need your help!

When the kids first walked in, we had an area for them to touch and feel kind of thing. In large bags, we had hot dogs cut to finger lenght for fingers. Thick jello for brains. Eyeballs were olives, spaghetti for guts and rough sausage cut to tongue lenght for, well tongues. It went over great and by their second time through even the girls would put their hands in and try and guess what they were feeling, but those rough little boys were making a mess and throwing food all over the haunted house and putting it in their pockets to munch on later, Yikes! Not a good thing... so I need something to put in that spot... something new, fun and a bit scarey for school aged kids...

The kids then moved on to a kid lying in the middle of a huge dining room table, set for twelve. There was an adult back behind the table scaring the kids and scooping out portions of the "dead" child onto plates and into bowls for dinner... the kid on the table would give the occasional full body shudder and scare the crap out of the kids standing there... We've added some stuff to this area so we're going to keep it.

The kids then moved on to a girl in an electric chair (gotta love my oldest DD. She ratted her hair out as big as it could get, and would flicker those lights on and off and give the loudest scream she could...) It was the first time we'd done that, and the kids loved it, but nobody knows what we did with the electric chair and DH is so busy with inventory at work this weekend I can't dare to ask him to build us another one. What can I use in this area that would be fun, fresh and scarey??

In the next area, we had a teenage boy sitting in an oversized chair with a huge pumpkin on his head. When the kids came by he would rise up out of the chair and scare the kids... Those poor boys that helped me, by the end of the day all three of them were worn out from taking turns wearing that big heavy pumpkin sitting on their shoulders... they could hardly get out of the chair! ...if I can find another pumpkin that size, we might use that again...

The kids have all asked to do something with a swamp, but I have no clue what. They're supposed to be bringing a bunch of spanish moss, and we have a fog machine. Where do we go from there to make a scarey swamp in one of the areas?

There's always been a kid rising up out of the coffin, but last year (remember the stupid little boys who were putting the food/body parts into their pockets) we had little boys kicking the kid in the coffin and nobody wants to do it this year...

Ok, so, who's up for scarey stuff? I'd appreciate any ideas or links you could give me. I don't want to spend a lot of money and we only have 2 weeks left to pull the rest of it together. Thanks for your help, I can't wait to see what y'all come up with! :)

Monday, October 10, 2005

Live, From The Office!

I could be ugly. Very Ugly.

This is Monday, right? We just went through this on Friday. Today. Monday. She was a half hour late this morning. Took 2 full hours for lunch, and called at that point to say she wasn't coming back in to work this afternoon. I give up.

Scorecard Update and Stuff...

Wow. I forgot how easy it is to move graphics and stuff at blogger, much easier than the other place. Looks like there'll be a new halloween girl every week until halloween!

Ok. So the sec. Came in late Friday. Took a long lunch and went home right after. She's already making excuses to leave early today too.

Aren't weekends wonderful? Mine usually go by so fast that I don't know what happened to them. This one was no exception... I skipped the poker tournaments. And slept. Because I had the opportunity to work 16 hours at a benefit for the red cross hurricane relief Saturday night and all day yesterday, I couldn't pass it up. My DH and the kids were right there working the whole time too, with sore feet and tired smiles. I'm such a softie when someone asks for help.

Friday, October 07, 2005

About Girls... ...& The Nutz!

I see more females playing texas hold-em today than ever before, but we're still the minority big time. Girls play a whole lot different than the guys do, and I've learned over the years to really use that to my advantage. It's more than just a card game. There's a psychological battle going on all of the time as well. It doesn't come across 100% when you watch the stuff on t.v. either...

As a female poker player, most men don't give me the time of day at first. Many have the attitude that girls are "dead money" and are going to be easy to read and get rid of. That's not always the case. I play regularly with several women who come in the money (finish within the winning few) at least 90% of the time they play. Girls can't just "show up and play" in a tournament like the guys can. Sure, some guys will put on their lucky shirt or grab a token they are superstitious about. But intimidation is a good part of the game. Sometimes I'll wear a dress. Sometimes I'll act like a dingbat. Sometimes I'll pretend I've never played before (that's getting hard to do now though, unless we're out of town because most local players know me now...) Sometimes just a wink or a smile can throw a man off his play, and if you learn to use that to your advantage and know who and when to use it, this can be helpful. ;)

The other night, I played in the biggest "big money" tournment I've ever tried. I went right after work so there wasn't time to put much effort into dressing. I wore a business suit, but did take the time to put on a World Series of Poker pin that I'd picked up while we were at the tourney in Vegas... (intimidation, any way it works!) There were a zillion people (or so it seemed) and with eleven players on a table, we were packed in there like sardines... it was kind of screwy, the way they ran the tournament. For the first hour, each time a player went out (lost all their money/chips and is out of the game) they were replaced by an alternate. That meant some players played up to an hour longer than others did. There were no rebuys (where you can get more chips/money when you run out). I drew seat 1 at my table, which is to the left of the dealer (it was a multi-table tournament...). When there are eleven at a table, and you are sitting next to the dealer, you can't get a really good look at the faces of all the other players. I took that in consideration and remembered to listen to the voices and watch the hands of the players I had a hard time seeing. Part of playing hold'em is reading the other players. Very important part in fact...

There was a guy sitting next to me wearing the hat/sunglasses thing. I used to wear sunglasses before I learned to stare. Some guys use them as a crutch. I'd sat next to this guy in a tournament before and knew how he played so it didn't matter that I couldn't see his eyes. I ended up taking all his chips away from him later on in the night and making him finish in 4th place... The rest of the table was a melting pot of two other women and seven men of a variety of ages. Most of them went out during the first hour. One of the women played one hand and lost all her chips. The woman I couldn't see played very tight but just couldn't catch any really good cards and ended up going out in fifth place... At the end of the first hour, my friend M got called as an alternate and took the seat on the opposite side of the dealer. I wished her good luck but really hated playing against her. I took all her chips away from her during the third hour and she went out in ninth place...

I wasn't winning all night, even though that right there sounds like it. For the first hour, I only played two hands besides the blind, folding every time and only winning one pot the whole hour. Even when the table's moving very fast, it can be hard to sit there and fold your cards every time and not get into the action. But sometimes you have to. The second hour, things started to rock & roll a little bit. I caught some good cards and won some chips, bought a couple pots (betting high so the other players will fold their cards and you get all the money) and managed to bluff a few times... when we got down to the final table, I took out the ones I've already told you about. There was a big ole boy and his even bigger father who were seated next to each other as they moved the players in. I took the father out, he had AK and I called him with 10-4offsuite because I was in the blind and already had 10,000 in the pot. I caught 10 4 on the flop, which gave me 2 pairs, and when he went "all-in", I had to call. We flipped our cards over and he didn't have a darn thing. I caught another 4 on the turn, which gave me a full house (or boat) and he took the walk of shame in 6th place... after the tournament this big ole man actually had the nerve for cussing me out publicly for playing 10-4 and winning. I looked his fat ass square in the eye and told him "you never know what I'm going to play, so watch out."

By the time we got down to the final three players, there was a ton of people standing around watching and shouting. Most of the time I was able to tune them out but I did hear quite a few of them cheering for "the girl"... It was the fat man who cussed me out's fat son, a skinny dude who looked scared to death sitting next to him, and me across the table. I was short stacked at that point and managed to bluff a little bit and buy a couple more and pull into second place. Then the fat kid started being a bully. Every hand he would go "all in" before the flop. I folded. And folded. The fourth time he did it, the scared guy called him. I don't remember what the cards were but the fat kid took mr. scared out and we started heads up play (two players). It went on for quite a while. My friend M was cheering me on and rubbing my shoulders at that point, hollering, "that's my girl! that's my girl" which was kind of funny considering she lost to me... anyway.

To be honest, I don't have a whole lot of heads up experience. I used to get scared and always lose, but now I take a whole lot of things into consideration and just try and play poker. We pushed those chips back and forth for what seemed like forever. By the end of the night I learned some things about that big ole boy just from the way he played poker. (the only thing I learned from him when he opened his mouth was that he is a Very bad sport and has even worse language...) So from his playing I could tell that he was single. Didn't play cards with women very often. I was able to intimidate him quite a few times and you could tell that when I took some of his chips away from him and everyone cheered it ate his guts. It killed him. I was a GIRL and he was a big ole redneck boy and everyone knows in the south how redneck boys think... And he thought he could bully me. HAH.

He started going all in every hand trying to buy the blinds. He didn't have anything, he was just bullying. I kept control. I caught a K J offsuite. Thought about it. Thought again, should I call? What if I go out? No. That's not it. Fold. The blinds were up somewhere up in the thousands, so it took quite a bit of the stack each time I folded. I caught a Q 2 and folded. Then folded a 10 4. He was quite a bit ahead of me at that point. I took a deep breath and my next hand was pocket Kings. KK was beautiful at that point. He went all in, which pushed me all in if I called. Of course I did. We flipped our cards and he had A 2, my kings started off the best hand. You never know what's going to happen with poker though. Anything goes. The flop was 475. Nothing. So far so good. The turn was a 6. wow. We both just stared at the cards. The dealer turned over a damn A on the river which paired him up and my kings took me into second place.

I know you can't always win. I felt so good though, that was the best I've ever played, and it was only because of the way the cards came out that I finished second. It was one of those no regret kind of nights. And I'm terribly sorry that I've rambled on about a bunch of stuff that probably makes no sense at all to you. I needed to write about it to get it out of my system and let it go because I'm going to play in another one tonight and I don't want all that in my head. Need to start fresh so I don't make stupid mistakes.

You know, as superstitious as I am about poker... I guess I could say that, had I been able to blog my "Rabbits! Rabbits!" for good luck the past two months, I might have won after all... but since I couldn't... well heck. You never know, right? LOL

Ok. Enough about cards. Time to get into my work and worry about tonight's game when it gets here... Have a great weekend!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Crud...

I hate moving. I hate it. I don't know what to post until this place starts feeling more like home. I played in a big hold-em tourney last night and come in second. It was the first time in quite a while that I felt good about the way I was playing, really good.

Oh! My friend from the red cross called me over the weekend and told me that Laura and Dan, those people I wrote about who are on the MS coast living in the tent with the little one, have finally been moved into a hotel. She said she thought that he is going to be starting back to work. I hope those poor people get a break. They've been through so much.

All right. Enough about poker and enough about hurricanes. Maybe I can get my work done and play with my template until it looks better. Then I need to go and find all the blogs I've lost for my blogroll...


EDITED 3:30 p.m. SCORECARD UPDATE!!
Guess I'm kinda freaked out after not being able to post for so many Fridays so I'm posting my scorecard update for the sec before tomorrow gets here, just in case! All right, I can't tally up the official score for sure until modblog comes back online and I can dig through old posts and see how many fridays the sec has taken off at least half a day or more, but I know at last count it was over THREE SOLID MONTHS without a full friday. THEN, we lost ten days of work from Katrina. I'm not going to hold those days against her for not showing up, because they were extra vacation days for me too. After Katrina, we worked Thursday, the 11th day. She took Friday off, 1/2 day. Three weeks ago, she took 1/2 of Friday off, and started taking two lunch hours again. Two weeks ago, she didn't even call or show up on Friday AT ALL. Last Friday I was off (I put in to have it off last March!) but she took 1/2 day off too. ...anyone wanna put money on tomorrow's game? LOL I know she was on time for work ONCE in the past two months, every day besides that she's been at least 45 min or more late... good. Well, at least we're starting to get caught up!

Happy Blog-Bday!

I'm really not liking to have to move back to blogger, but here goes. It's official. Modblog is down and I've lost my links to all my favorites, but I started here a year ago today and now I've come home... So, Happy Birthday Kimdergarten! A year ago I started writing here, before I went there, and came back here, but anyway, it's been a whole year. And it was about that same time I discovered, while browsing blogs and hitting the "next" button, that my oldest daughter had been keeping a secret blog for a year and a half already! The web is a small world!

I'm swamped at work and will have to take a while to spruce this place up, so bear with me while I'm under construction and changing things around!